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Stir-Crazy a.k.a. Cabin Fever

25 January 2009
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A.K.A. if this winter were a wimpy fourth grader and I were a schoolyard bully, I’d totally beat him up and take his lunch money.

But, as it is, this winter is obviously the bully, and I’m the wimpy fourth grader. The wimpy fourth grader with Coke-bottle glasses. The wimpy fourth grader with Coke-bottle glasses who wears floods. The wimpy fourth grader with Coke-bottle glasses who wears floods and plays the oboe.

You get the point.

I told myself I wasn’t going to write about the cold – it’s so cliche, kind of the “how about them Reds?” of blog small talk. But we’re going a bit stir-crazy around here, and it’s all I can think about. Even my insane husband admitted that the cold was getting to him just a little. Not that he’s changed any of his crazy habits because of it. Chili and I, however, are shunning the outside, and we’re not talking to it until it promises to shape up. The silent treatment, that’s our modus operandi.

Unfortunately, our current stance has cut into my productivity. Lounging on the couch does not lend itself to getting stuff done. So, in case you didn’t notice, I went cold turkey  (HA! Get it? Cold turkey?!) on the blog to force myself at least to apply for one job, answer a couple emails, and go to the gym. (Yes, that did require going outside, but I did not talk to the outside while I was there – no sir, I am still slapping it with silence.) Next week I’m even planning to brave the treacherously icy back steps to the laundry room so that we have clean clothes again.

For all of this attempted increase in productivity, though, both Chili and I are still stir-crazy, with an emphasis on the crazy. I often have long conversations with Chili where she just cocks her head and stares at me with that “whatcha talkin’ ’bout, crazy lady?” look of hers. Or my brain will just shut itself off, and it takes me forever to realize I’ve just watched a full episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County or, worse yet, five minutes of FOX News.

Chili, well, she’s really going nuts. She’s started attacking her food, inanimate though it may be. And she’s taken to burying bones under blankets since the frozen ground refuses to yield to her claws.

It’s all a bit squirrelly around here. And as we all know, anything related to squirrels just terrifies me. Please send help.

VIDEO EVIDENCE #1: Fearing that it may surprise her by suddenly coming to life, Chili attacks her Jumbone.

VIDEO EVIDENCE #2: Now that she has successfully vanquished the foe, Chili buries her kill.

One Comment leave one →
  1. 25 January 2009 8:04 pm

    You guys gotta get out more! I think a Chili coat might be in order. 🙂 And remember, (as if I had any experience on which to stand) Layers!

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